Fear is normal and it is actually okay to experience fear from time to time because it protects us from harm or danger, i.e. crossing a busy street. Think of a GPS in your car, fear is your internal navigation system. But when can fear be destructive and hold us back from reaching our dreams and goals? I can only speak according to my own experience, and it’s not a pretty thing (when I suffered from depression). It stopped me from doing the mundane things, it kept me from going out, it isolated me from family and friends and it kept me from doing fun activities. Fear can be paralyzing. It’ll hold you back from reaching your potential, it keeps you stuck in negativity and unfulfilled dreams.
So how can we move past fear, overcome it and use it as our biggest ally? Simple, decide that you’ll make it your ally. Period. I’ve learned from my own research and discovery through the help of coaches and got this inspiration from one of my beloved authors, Elizabeth Gilbert, her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. This book is hilarious, yet true. And I paraphrase, I’ll talk to fear and cut a deal by asking it to tell me why it’s trying to protect me beyond danger. Once it’s established that I’m free from harm, I’ll adamantly tell it to take the passenger seat as I take the wheel. Fear can hold the snacks or your smartphone. But I won’t let it control my life anymore, where I can’t reach my full potential nor live my best life. Try these three easy steps to have fear as your biggest ally.
1. Be grateful. Having an attitude of gratitude is key to a positive shift in your focus and energy. Although fear can be paralyzing at times, remind yourself to count your blessings no matter what. You’re alive for heaven’s sakes! That’s one thing to be grateful for. It takes courage to look at the positive despite going through tough challenges and setbacks. Besides, you can’t be grateful and be afraid at the same time. Go ahead, try it. Your brain can only focus on one thing at any given time. When fear gives you this illusion of running for the hills, try this instead, write down three things that you are grateful for. ‘Are you grateful for the air that you breathe?’ ‘Do you have wonderful family and friends who love you for who you are?’ It won’t be easy but little shifts can help get closer to befriending fear itself.
2. Have a date with fear. This may sound weird at first but trying anything new can be daunting, anyway. Why not give it a try! Set a date with fear. Choose the perfect time to your liking. Let’s say you’ve decided to meet fear at 10:00pm in your living room, what’s next? Have an honest conversation with it and be open to what you might discover from your little chat. Write down everything that could come out during your date. You might be in for a surprise.
What stops you from doing what you love? Is it fear of not being good enough, smart enough, rejection, money, health or not meeting the love of your life? Leave your comments below and let’s start the discussion and inspire each other. Tag a friend, sharing is caring.
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