To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Picture this: you are out for a lovely evening with friends when you see your best friend’s husband kissing another woman. Your heartbreaks for her, of course, but anxiety soon sets in. Your stomach knots and churns, you sweat, you chew your nails. How will you tell her? Should you tell her? How do you decide when you know that most of the time, people shoot the messenger?
People Hate Hearing Negative Information
We all tense up when we hear bad news. Whether it is a robbery down the street or a death in the family, negative news brings us down. Of course the person you tell some bad news will be angry. Be prepared for some blowback.
Why Get Mad at ME?
Because you are there! When news is relayed and we love the person who hurt us, sometimes it’s easier to be angry with the person in front of us. It’s easier to blame them for witnessing it and bringing it to our attention rather than for us to be upset with the one we love.
What if You Were the Recipient of the Bad News?
The first thing to do is Stop. Stop yourself from going ballistic. Breathe. Hug the person who told you. Know that they told you the bad news from a place of love and respect. Wouldn’t you rather hear it from a friend than from a stranger?
How to Stop Getting Shot!
To start, sit down and write out what you’re going to say ahead of time so you don’t make statements that’s emotion based. For example, don’t say, “I saw that scumbag cheating on you.” Also, never, ever say anything bad about anyone involved in the situation. Even if you are asked, “what do you think of Bob?” Why? If your friend and her mate make up, you will always be the friend that hates Bob.
When bringing bad news to a friend, keep in mind that they will be hurt and there may be backlash but remember love and kindness will lead everyone out of the dark. Hugs, patience, a compassionate ear/shoulder, love and a forgiving heart are the best things you can give to a person who is hurting.
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