Not all children have a Brady Bunch type childhood, full of love and fun. Some kids have it pretty rough for a variety of reasons. While some of these kids grow up and are able to get over the issues they faced in childhood, many cannot. For these people, memories of the past haunt them and frequently will make their present very difficult to deal with. Want to be able to get past the past? Try the steps below!
1. Confront the Past
What bothers you about your past? Write it down so you can refer to it in later steps. Avoidance tends to be a common reaction to painful past events. However, avoidance will only prolong the pain and make it worse in the long run. Rather than avoiding dealing with the past, confront it head on. Remember what the event was and who was involved.
2. Write out how the past makes you feel
There may be a past event that still replays in your mind and causes you considerable stress. The key to moving past it is finding out why, after all of this time, this event still bothers you. The root to most problems is pain. Pain? Yes, anger and emotional responses usually go back to the primary human emotion of pain, hurt, etc. People tend to hang onto painful experiences because they have unresolved painful emotions about it. Write out your feelings to get to the root of them. It will help you move on in the near future
3. Don’t be a victim, be a survivor
Wallowing can be good for coping in the short-term but if you continue to live in this victim mode your mental health and physical well-being will begin to suffer. As a survivor of child abuse, I can tell you the wallowing and self-pity can be hard to pull yourself out of but being a survivor will improve your health all around. Being a survivor means knowing that you made it out of the situation alive and well. Being a survivor means helping others in similar situations. Being a survivor means life goes on after tragedy.
4. Forgive others
Forgiveness can be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. How do you forgive someone who has done something truly horrible? Start by thinking of why they may have hurt you. It may seem impossible at first but when you start to delve into the psychology of why people do the things they do, you may have a better understanding of how they ended up the way they did. For example, abusive parents most likely grew up in an abusive home also. They sometimes curtail their behavior, thinking at least they aren’t like their own parents and therefore are good parents. It is a vicious cycle and not everyone is insightful. Use these ideas to forgive their actions. It will help you heal.
5. Seek professional help
If your issues are deep which might include psychological and neurological help from trained psychiatrists, psychologists, they can help shed light on the problems that plague you and help you move on to be a happier, healthier person. Just talking out the pain with an uninvolved party can help you see where the pain is and how to handle it. You can also hire a certified life coach if you need support in terms of guidance in your life- change of career, building a positive mindset, manifesting your soul’s desires and accountability.
Go ahead and start with step one and find your way to happiness and a feeling of relief from your newly resolved issues! Why feel miserable when you can feel like an amazing Positive Chick?
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